The Scotsman - December 2, 2005
A worthwhile drug? Forget it, because that's what I found myself doing
all day long
by Anne McElvoy
MY COLLEAGUE suggests I look ready for a memory-enhancing drug. It does
not sound like such a bad idea, considering the list of things on my domestic
"to do" list, which is growing to such frightening proportions
that it is a wonder the house is still standing.
Because I rarely take even a painkiller, it feels strange to resort to
medicine to improve my brainpower, but a previous reviewer says it made
her whizz her way through a list of tasks, so I reckon it will make me
heroically efficient at work and able to devote the evening to sorting
out a list of household planning that would defeat Mrs Danvers at Manderley.
Within an hour of taking it, I have a very odd feeling indeed. Slightly
floaty, fuzzy at the edges - the way people describe the effects of Prozac.
In the middle of a familiar task, I remember that I forgot to press a
computer button and have to trail back across the office to do it. A vague
wooziness descends and will not shift. The computer crashes and I feel
less frustration than usual at the lost ten minutes, probably because
I am having difficulty thinking at all.
What one of my colleagues has joked is a "clever pill" because
it increases efficiency has brought on a feeling of near stupefaction.
I desperately need fresh air. My mouth is dry. The work is still waiting
and so is the unkempt small country called home.
The next morning, I woke with a start at 3am having forgotten a task
of such monumental importance that I am sure I would have remembered it
if I hadn't succumbed to the blasted pill. So Saturday morning was spent
sorting out something that should have been finished by Friday night.
Some help. Memory enhancer? Forget it.
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